Mara Fisher, LCSW, MCC

Article:

Giving and Receiving: Allowing Both

Giving of oneself is a challenge for many people, and often around holidays it seems to be on the minds of everyone I speak with. Am I giving enough? Am I giving the right thing? Who do I want to give to? Who do I have to give to? Can I afford to give? These are some of the questions that my clients have been expressing to me.

At the heart of these questions is usually fear. What we fear may be different for each person. It's as if by giving, in some way, we believe that we may be disappointing others or letting them down. One of my thoughts about this is that there are many ways we give of ourselves. And you can find a way that makes you feel good in your heart so that you can feel safe, loving, and positive about who you are and the choices that you make.

Receiving from others is also on people's minds during the holiday season more than any other time of year. Most people look forward to receiving gifts; yet the act of accepting gifts from others is difficult for many. Feelings of vulnerability are often present when we receive. We may feel that our friends/family are not sensitive to our taste or that they did not take the time to plan for our gifts. Many of us are uncomfortable with receiving, much more so than with giving as receiving taps into our own feelings of being loved. For many it can be much more challenging to allow love in.

A lovely Ritual that you can do to assist yourself in allowing both receiving and giving to take place with ease in your life is the following.

Light a white candle.
Sit in front of it for 5 minutes, watching it, letting your mind float.
Wonder about the first 3 times you received something. Notice how you felt, what you saw/heard?
Now notice what you feel/think about those 3 times now.
What are your challenges with giving? Receiving?

For more information contact author, relationship coach and licensed counselor,
Mara Fisher, LCSW, MCC at www.BridgeofLife.com